2004 June | Torley Lives

Torley Lives

I amplify your awesome.

2004-06-28
Time
"You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending"
-the sage lyrics of Avril Lavigne
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I know there are times when someone can be too sad. I am sad right now. Not the saddest.?But can anyone really be too happy? (I was reading this incredibly sad news story about a teen's suicide.) What brings out the monster in a good person? Over the years, I have come to accept all human languages as horribly flawed but awfully useful. Words are like rough building blocks — perhaps like LEGO (TM) — but they cannot form some shapes like smooth circles unless you take one of those "rare parts" I so vividly recall finding in some of the more expensive sets like the outer space ones. Somewhat like computer pixels, there is a minimum level of precision and then there comes the jagginess of quantization. So, you'll always make generalizations. Unless you choose to use really big words and loooong sentences, in which case there's always something you can elaborate on. There's always an open opportunity for loopholes to be found, and thus, the argument is never airtight. *sighs*
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Such is the case with debates. I appreciate being polite but firm, with open,?healthy?communication. I have seen more than my unhealthy amount of them, and I see the same negativity *REDUNDANTLY* repeated time and time again. Why do humans hate so much? I just don't get it. And then it turns into personal attacks, and from there, a lot of people are hurt. Sometimes, even physically. It happens time and time again. Time may not be a loop and we may not all be stuck in something akin to the "fruit loop" of Stargate SG-1's "Window of Opportunity" (my favorite episode, BTW), but all of us have repeated behavior we wish we hadn't. I know I have. Redundancy comes in handy when you're making backups of precious work, but for the most part, I loathe and shun the squeaky R because I've really heard it all before and it serves no positive purpose towards helping humans live happier, healthier lives (alliteration there?). I can't lay claim to having heard "everything under the sun" as far as technopolitics is involved (somewhat contradicting what I said in the preceeding sentence, but I am full of contradictions), but more times than I can count I know it's not just deja vu.
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It would be boring to be an emotionless robot I think, so conflict is a necessary part of drama. But I'd like to save the bulk of that for art on screen or on paper or other media — even dissonance in organized sound — and believe that we can learn something from art and that we can live actual better lives. Too pragmatic? Yes, that's me. I'm unabashedly bold in my wanting people to be happier. My brain is just sorted this particular way, and simple delights like inflatable furniture and chewing on mushrooms thrills me to no end. In a little while, I am planning to have raspberries with Cool Whip as a snack.
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It's funny how we ended up here. Life is full of surprises. Sometimes I wonder if I had gone back in time and interacted with X person or Y animal differently, how different would things be now. Or would they be the same? Of course they'd be the same if I had no knowledge of the prior event. But just like two of my favorite topics, time travel & alternative universes, it makes me nutty and I have to really laugh at the delightfully twisted ""logic"' (double quotation marks there) of it all. I'm beginning to read Stephen King's memoir on writing ATM. Very nice stuff, I like his insight into his youth. He seems to remember a lot. I remember bits and pieces, most of them are what I'd consider to be normal for me but in retrospect I can truely (is how I spell it) say I am grateful for the life I have lived thus far, and X-tremely (annoying spelling I know) thankful for my famfriends in life. I don't make a differentiation between family & friends after a point because who you know, you know. And who you like, you like. Even moreso for LOVE (three-humped heart, biotch!). Hopefully this is mutual, and hopefully it extends for many years. Times change, people die, but you remember what's good about life despite all the stuff you have to put up with. I don't remember very much, but this I do.
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Think I'll call it a night. After the Cool Whip?and raspberries. ;)
2004-06-26
I just have this craving…
to create. And it's hard right now because I've been taking it easy for the last few days, not really being able to do too much because of my ears. So I'm in a slackin' sort of phase right now. I've been thinking of doing some more visual art, but something tells me that this is going to overlap too much with what my brother Merritt is doing and?I don't want to step on his proverbial toes (his real ones are a different story) :). I think I've gotten in enough trouble with him for calling him Daniel Jackson, as in the Stargate SG-1 character, primarily because of his haircut but also because of the way he adjusts his glasses. I think he will be getting a haircut soon at this new shop that opened. I cut my own hair, I do it looking into a mirror.
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I'm going for a hearing appointment soon and I'm getting anxious, so I hope something can be done about it. It's been a few weeks now and it has not improved :(
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The other day, I had lunch with my friends, the Linemayrs. They are a wonderful, generous?family and longtime source of support of various kinds to my own family. My late Dad and Mom knew them since all us children were little, and now Karen is all grown up and married and Steven is even more enthused and punchy when it comes to a good joke than before. I like the guy, he's forthright and doesn't bullshit — tells it like it is, but at the same time, he's a really considerate, polite person. I guess that's what I aspire to be and I know sometimes I struggle, because I want to speak my mind but?I'm not terribly fond of hurting people's feelings, even inadvertently. I believe there's enough pain and suffering in the world as it stands (as I've said redundantly several times. If I hurt you, and I don't know about it, please let me know.
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Tomorrow (which will soon become today), I'll be having dinner with Phil and Christine and their children. They just had a new baby boy. They?are very good friends of mine too, very uplifting. I like uplifting people.
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Oh hey-o . . . Dan and Alex have launched Wrong Planet, which is "The online resource and community for those with Asperger's Syndrome". It's good stuff, I like the interface, CHECK IT OUT *excited smile*… I can't wait to see how things unfold and expand here.
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I wonder what my next obsession will be. My ideas are stacking up too high in my head, this always happens — I wouldn't say I have a lot of ideas, which I do,?but I do know that it's like this mental tree I'm growing and I can visualize the roots and all the branches, like the many styles of electronic music. It's hard to explain, especially given my inadequacy with the written word, but I guess that's why I got into music in the first place, so I could elucidate some bits 'n' pieces of it in my own unique way. And that, I am grateful for.
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I saw an ad banner on Yahoo! for Avril Lavigne's new video, "My Happy Ending". I don't know if she actually plays piano as shown in the vid, but if so, +1 for her. She is sexilicious, and I adore that flexible feline look she has about her, all cats-eye makeup and the toothy grrr face. I wonder if she drinks much milk? I am not as much into her music as I was in the great Lavigne phase of '01 (credit goes to Terry for getting me hooked…), but it's a great, catchy single. It seems to confuse some people that I like not only Avril AND Britney, but Hillary Duff and umpteenthloads of experimental electronic music too. Why not? I like what I like :D
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I read new news about Prodigy's forthcoming album. Finally. Looks like this is mainly a one-Liam talent show with collaborators, I'm excited. It's been like 7-8 years since Fat of the Land, which will always remain seminal in my book. I remember hearing the opening beats of "Smack My Bitch Up" through the headphones at Tower Records, and when the beat really kicked in after the first?round o' bars, I was like… WHOA!
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Today I was looking at the end of Stephen King's The Dark Tower, Book VI. Heck that man can spool a good yarn. I also appreciate his anti-snob attitude.
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Got a glittery pack of notepads to put in the breast pockets of my silk shirts so I can write stuff down. I'm really absent-minded nowadays, even moreso than a few years ago, so please pardon me if you told me something REALLY important and I don't remember it. Today I wrote down:
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StriVectin-SD
Heather Hattaway
www.totallyjuicy.com
Tom Harper - The Pagan Christ
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In that order.
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I think I am going to be increasingly inspired by Brian Eno circa '75 after his car accident, from which he emerged triumphant (as Stephen King?has after his run-in with?a?van)?with the word "AMBIENT" being whispered confidently over the meadows worldwide. So inspiring, a real conceptualist.
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We'll see… hear? Or see. I may get into writing again, as I have lots of business unfinished and a lot I want to say. Art, in its myriad forms, makes me go WOW.
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2004-06-19
There are 23 of us now
I must apologize for no updates lately?– I need to mention I have a hearing loss problem I am in the process of dealing with, as well as some other personal problems. I will return however; it seems inevitable, doesn't it? ;)
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Today, I got a chuckle out of this:
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How appropriately Goa'uld, eh? Taken from here.
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In the meantime, I wish you good health and honorable prosperity — and stay away from loud industrial noises.
2004-06-08
only time
OH! Nice way to start the day, super genre-defiers James Holden and Petter of the Border Community galaxy?like my pianomental (read: version) of James' "Horizons". Thanks a lot to Inertia for asking about it, and conducting the whole interview.
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What a fun read, and you can read it by clicking here! Bilingual — Spanish on top, English scrolly down.
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Words don't tell the full story when it comes to music, so:
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Click here to download James Holden - Horizons (Torley Wong's Pianomental)
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James, if it isn't okay for me to post the MP3 just let me know, you know where to find me :D
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Apart from that, don't have a lot of spare time today — going to do a few minor tweaks to this place, watch an episode of SG-1 with my food, and then get back to work… and it's likely sleep after that. Some stuff I have to deal with in the next few days I will take care of accordingly ;)