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No pix for this one — sowwy — just pure, adulterated thoughts + feelings. It's almost?6 AM as I lay this sentence down, just like how I should lay myself to sleep soon. 
I'm very tired and my eyelids are beginning to get heavier than a bag of "a mysterious heavy substance". Call it gray matter.
Today, I've seen a lot of magic. I've chatted at length with SL luminaries who've been here a long time and know a lot, newbies who are fresh off of the virtual boat, and other friends who make up varying nuances of the spectrum. One gorgeous rainbow.?I went to parties today, played bingo, and?witnessed what I would consider to be magical miracles.?But the things I — we bring?to Second Life is our real-life experience: our hopes, our dreams, our other stuff which might be deemed "corny" or "cheesy" for whatever damn reason; but in the end, it's real to us, it's part of who we are. I'm not gonna philosophize at length about Love and other emotions, but to quote the godfather?James Brown: "I feel good! Woooahh!!" Whether we upload photos of loved ones, build a memorial to those who are no longer with us, or reflect our human?passions in another?amazingly creative way, it's all here on Second Life… us, human beings, in this together.
Friendships are forged, adventures are journeyed, and yeah there are a lot of bugs in the system to be worked out. But you know what? I'm really grateful the system works at all. I'm thankful that something like this exists, and how it's pretty accessible if you have a relatively high-tech computer and broadband setup. What's even more, I'm graciously?thankful for the people I've gotten to know through Second Life over the past few weeks. It's been a little over a month since I set sail on my new adventures, not knowing what to expect (I still don't!), and in that time, I've come across fascinating — and not only that — friendly folks who are more than happy to share their passions with me and vice-versa. It's been a great energy feedback loop that grows stronger and stronger. Most excellent!
If I wanted to be a cynic, I could say what a PITA the TelePort system is at times, or the nuissance of vehicles on sim crossings,?or why Inventory is mindbogglingly sluggy to organize (even with my own comparatively small collection), or why Circle Ks can't easier be packed into one's inventory :P?– and in fact, I just did. Those are problems.?However, we persist. We keep on keeping on, upgrades in the pipeline. As Kex Godel put it to me, there is reflexive fear of change — even when change is for the better in hindsight, I might add. Some of the veterans of SL are really putting this into perspective for me when they relate their stories of how things have evolved so much (av appearance customization, being able to upload custom animations), and yet, what has not changed is that there are still wildly expressive people inworld like I described, real people tapping away behind a keyboard, explorers of this craaazy place. (And I mean that in a totally good way!)
It all starts somewhere. And for me, there's a lot of synchronicity. I know that's a buzzword and I really like it because I haven't been able to find another term to describe what I'm experiencing. How in life — and Second Life, sometimes, you just get really pissed off and want to grab the tiger by the balls and not let go. And then things begin to fall into place, one after another, maybe when you least expect it. And then there'll be a lull, and it happens again. I'm noticing a lot of connections in my life, and the first real shards exploded after my Dad died last year. One of the things my Father always pounded into my head was: "WHATEVER YOU DO, GET IT DONE!" No, we can't all build luxurious Trumpy mansions. But heck, I go over to Cristiano Midnight's place at Maverick's and see how he's got his and his lover's dream home on the beach. It's gorgeous, spacious, and that's the thing — space. A place for you to expand your mind, body, & soul. To expand is to grow.
To extend a further metaphor, these are stepping stones for growth. Yes, one thing leads to another. Maybe, just maybe, you do something in SL and you discover stuff about yourself that you'd never fully realized before, and it makes an impact on your offline life. You wanna live it out, live out your fantasies, and maybe even be a little craaazier.?Lose yourself in the moment, and then find yourself again. Find happiness, because those moments may be fleeting and transient but the memories are yours to keep. You will definitely feel pain, and I can't imagine how anyone would go through life without some degree of hurt, but then you look back: what do you remember?
I know right now, I'm angry and frustrated with not being able to produce techno?music because of my hyperacusis. It sucks. The flipside is that if I had been busy with my music, I wouldn't have been able to check out Second Life and immerse myself in connectivity and all of this fun –?not to mention the humanist resonance at a deeper level, and the?dichotomy of how advanced technology allows us to?express our primal urges more.?Cracking through my sadness, there is happiness, knowing that "Hey! I made someone smile a thousand miles away!" or "Wow, show me that again! That was SOOO cool!" or what is starting to be a catchphrase of mine: "OMG!!! WHAT A TRIP!!!"
Blessing in disguise? No.?It's no longer in disguise anymore. Something that's kept me going is knowing. Knowing that discoveries await me, and that SL can be an effective bridge to a better, fuller, whole life as a human being.?How even I, with my communication difficulties due to autism, being blind to the obvious, and my lack of common sense, have been able to come across people I had imagined for a long time but never knew actually existed. Why couldn't I do this before? Simple textbased chatrooms didn't do it for me, and while I like posting on Forums, the lack of realtime hyperactivity tends to confuzzle me over the long term. Multimedia r0×0rs. *burps*? A good meal means yummy in your tummy, but you'll soon be hungry for more. Extendingly, I'm starting to get a glimpse of even more discoveries — it all spreads outwards to the sun like some grossly cliched lens flare effect a la Photoshop. But it's beautiful. Virtual sim-sunrises are beautiful, let me tell ya! I appreciate them when they come. They remind me of one happy moment nearing the end of high school where I hung out all night with chums, and then… just watched the solar body rise in comfortable silence.
I can't go back. Again, I ask myself: what do I remember? I remember this. I remember my dearest childhood memories, and am absolutely wowed to see fellow humans, represented via avatar — their virtual incarnations — let me know that they too, were a big fan of Lego/Transformers/classic 8-bit video games and soforth. Memories long past live on here, and it's not just about nostalgia: it's about bringing your past into the present for a better future.?Knowing that there is a sort of loopism to history. Knowing that for all you know, you could be repeating this same damn loop a thousand times and it'd play out the same way, each and every time. But maybe on the 1000th pass, things would be different. A little different, but different enough to break the cycle and send you somewhere else –
Stephen King wrote: "Life is a support system for art, not the other way around." Second Life is both?life and art. It is what you make of it. Sai King also wrote: "Get busy living, or get busy dying." Also applicable. Second Life can make your whole life — united as one — richer, fuller, happier, and more fun. It can help you reevaluate stuff in your life if you've felt in a rut, and perhaps guide you to consider things you had never even imagined before, with the help of others in a shared collaborative space. You can?prototype stuff in here?for rolling out later, and I don't only mean mechanical creations. I should mention I'm experimentally learning about sarcasm. 
SL?is a game and more.?You play the game, and for me, I roll with this gangsta credo because it hits my heart so soundly: STAY TRU 2 THA GAME. And if that sounds like a positive testimonial to you, you're right on the button. I speak from growing, glowing?personal experience now, and as things continue to expand, who knows what's around the bend? One may have a sort of vision, but like a funhouse mirror, it?will be distorted and you just don't know until you get there. And then you're in that moment, until it passes you by again. Oh, I know there'll be painful moments for me. I'll accept them as they come. And Second Life?goes on.
I'm gonna give a shout-out to Madiera Westerburg here. *waves*?I like her. She wonders when I'm gonna namedrop her again, so heck, here goes:?she's been very sweet to me inworld since I posted with her on the forums, and the first?time I met?her inworld,?she sent me flying over a sim with her punching glove. I just visited her house yesterday, and I didn't even realize it was hers until she came outside and told me to land. So she showed me around. Nice view from the balcony?to the moonlight, a comfy place to live, and?as virtual as it is, I'm sure she really feels for what has happened to her on SL. Like I do.?We related about life. And speaking of life . . .
If?First Life?is too short, what?does that make Second Life??I now leave this to you. If you haven't experienced Second Life for yourself and are now curious, give it a?free trial run?and?check out the links on the sidebar of my blog. See how you think + feel about it. New, old, and everything in between — but?unquestionably human and open to diversity?like I am?–?I look forward to seeing you inworld in my upcoming adventures.
Okay, two pix:
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This is in celebration of Second Life!!!
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