Do holiday greeting possibilities vex you?

2008-12-13

I like words. There are a lot of them. Some get used more than others. Others don't seem to have a point — aside from wanting to sound a few cents smarter, would you use "utilize" instead of "use"?

I've seen many Hallmark cards. It's true there's a rich diversity of things to celebrate, occasions of exuberance, and even the sadder times (aka funerals). But some sayings are like mantras — "Happy Holidays!" being one of them. Oh, and "Merry Xmas!" is another. Not that those are the only choices, but have you ever wanted to say: "HAVE A TOTALLY BADASS TREE DAY!" and wussed out because you thought the receiving party (aka your Mom) would be offended or not get it?

I say, shirk that. If it's from the heart, if you've got the spirit and gusto, then say it like you mean it. And mean it when you say it. It's really the only way to not sound plastic in this era of acceptably fake trees. Make choices that aren't on the original menu!

Some words have a timeless quality: "awesome" beats "righteous" in this pack. While both have ancient roots, I see the former used beyond any semblance of Bill and Ted. Hence why I use "awesome" a lot… but I nevertheless vary it up. A healthy diet of cliché interbred with obscure linguistics is the way to go, because it's founded on twin pillars of cognizant self-awareness and fresh humor. You can't beat that.

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