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Posted on: June 1, 2006

It's funny how different things look when you're looking back at them. Over the hump. A lot of what seemed like a big deal at the time really isn't, and priorities often seem out of wack.

A regular thing for me on the job is to observe human behavior. Not that it's a deliberate function, but because "it comes with the territory". I see people who get really flustered about something Second Life-related aka "DAMN YOU LINDENS U SCROOED UP TEH GAME AGAIN!!!1234", and then the next day, they apologize and say they had a really bad day. Well, OK, but then hours after that, they start up in full angry rant mode again. Lather. Rinse. Repeat—more like the shower scene from Carrie than a spa vacation. I find such behavior really sad and sickening, literally, because someone's life could be so much happier and healthier.

Hopefully it doesn't shock anyone, but a reason I don't do that anymore is because I used to. And I made myself sick. I've been through that behavior, and like many forms of sheer abusiveness, it's cyclical and negatively redundant. Instead of boosting, it depresses. And one who indulges in it becomes an emotional vampire, sucking energy out of others. It's simply the sludge of what a human being… can be.

Again, I emphasize: I don't do it anymore because I already have. My senses warm to the yummy which pleases others. Those who block my happiness may very well be blocking their own, or may have baggage they're not 'fessing up about. I sometimes wonder what the sum elements of someone's bad day are, before they take it out on others online sans an explanation.

For part of the way I do see Second Life is via visionary means: not a fake utopia, but selling the whole "you can be a better you" dream. It worked for me, and I'm not afraid to speak from personal experience. :)

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Mozilla, or rather, the rendering engine Gecko—but who's splitting hairs?—rolled into Second Life today. I let Callum Linden know; Cal's been doing a fantastic job plowing forward with it, despite the technical challenges.

And I love how its first usage happens to be F1 Help—who needs it? We've been very soreteeth about shoddy documentation for a long time. So what a home run for connections.

If you aren't in Second Life, you can view the help docs here. Jack Linden wrote the bulk and he did so tremendously. Special thanx to Jeska and Cyn Linden for coordinating and proofreading, Karen and our eXtreme Bug Hunters for ironing out the wrinkles, and we've got a new guy on the web team, Jose, who's helping with polish. You can prolly guess what bits I wrote too… hint: what am I often doing in SL? RUR RUR RUR!

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Keep watching Find for "flex" matches, kk?

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Just before the end of the month, we got the May 2006 edition of the Second Opinion newsletter out! What's cool about it is, it's not timid. We can give specific focus to kewl people, places, and things without getting all "Linden Lab says there's nice stuff in Second Life"-type vague. ;) What I'm also glad to see is that in the Your Letters section, I'm seeing names that don't pop up on the forums. I know some peeps wanna get a voice out but don't wanna be pounced on—I'm all for more channels of communication.

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In my life, and extended to my Second Life, I've been searching for new experiences. These include emotional experiences. I bet there's emotions I haven't even felt yet.

Lately, in my personal life, I've been learning what it's like to be lovesick: to want to be with someone so fully, and having achieved it on some levels… but so distant on others. To want to assign labels or a way to describe what I'm feeling, yet at the same time: sometimes, there are no words. Remembering the first time I met her, and how she helped me get here; but needing "me" time to focus and ask myself why I'm this way.

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