How to tell if your personality superstar is a narcissistic egomaniac

Posted on: November 5, 2008

Before I answer that, I'll point to the post that inspired it — "Why You Need To Hire Employees With Strong Personal Brands" by Rohit Bhargava, whose Personality Not Included I thoroughly enjoyed. He woke me up in succinctly wording things that had been floating around my head. After all, my day job as Resident Enlightenment Manager of Second Life for Linden Lab has been tremendously effective due to my personality. Rohit expresses what deeply resonates with me as I think of my counterparts at other companies:

The problem with many organizations is that they don't value personal brand builders enough. Often in the corporate world, as an employee raises their personal brand they are more likely to be treated with skepticism. Called self-promoters (or worse), these growing superstars are often alienated and driven out of organizations by managers or colleagues that feel threatened by them. Of course, some personal brand builders actually are rabid self-promoters to the detriment of the places they work. But the majority are genuinely strong performers who have the ability to use their personal social capital to be even better at their job if you can find a way to embrace them.

And again, the question: "How to tell if your personality superstar is a narcissistic egomaniac?"

It's actually quite easy. Feed them energy, and look where it flows.

If they're in it for themselves, like a classic smoke test, leaks and holes will show soon enough — and the energy won't reach the end of the pipeline.

I've done this test on myself and others. Someone who's out for their own glory won't benefit customer relations, won't reciprocate, and certainly won't build positive strengths for the company. They also won't empower others — fellow employees and communities of customers — to give back in kind.

A true personality superstar points to their own wealth (of varying kinds), then using that firsthand example as a springboard, they inspire you to grow, too. They may express bizlove (coined by Tim Sanders) by passing on a potent book or matchmaking you with a new friend through their multitude of connections, and may confess screw-ups they've made so you hopefully won't stumble through the same hardships in your own ascent.

It's easy to be jealous of someone who glows so much, but hard to hate them if they're genuinely nice, and even easier to get to know them and understand that they can — and are often willing to — amplify your awesome if you give them a chance. Especially if you're a budding personality superstar.

Make no mistake: selfishness is at the core of a narcissistic egomaniac. They hoard creativity when given every opportunity to be rewarded for it, undermine others by not offering to help (especially when they spot a flaw that would prove problematic for the organization later on), and only shine a light on themselves, not their collaborators.

But what about faking the funk?

Yes, there are fakers, and some are even sociopaths (see Snakes In Suits for more on that), so not only energy, but time is a factor. 3 months, a quarter of a year, is a good stretch to actively engage someone and see their true face as they're exposed to various situations, some under duress.

Sometimes, I've had self-doubt, wondering "Am I showing too much personality?" but the answer to this, too, is simple: I invest ample time with Residents — users & customers of Second Life — and I don't just ask; I'm an active listener when they initiate giving their opinion to me. Thus far, I've learned in copious doses that my video tutorials — like much of what I do — succeed because of earnest passion. If I read a script with the same "enthusiasm" as the Clear Eyes guy and airbrushed all the rough edges out, there'd be indifference and boredom. But instead, by infusing pure personality, I effectively communicate the benefits of feature X, or show why tool Y matters.

I also repeatedly take the time (there's that word again) to thank many people who directly share they've enjoyed my videos, along with suggestions + critiques. As I've been saying lots lately: "Thanks for letting me know, because if you didn't tell me, I wouldn't know!" And I make it easy to get in touch.

Out of alignment?

Some of the commenters on Rohit's blog ask what happens when an individual's personality is misaligned with the company. To that, I believe that employee won't be happy there for long, if ever. Like picking a spouse or a running mate, know what you're getting into first, and agree on what divergence in views you can live with.

The virtual world of Second Life has always espoused using thy imagination, and I was originally attracted to working for LL because of employee awesomeness and how they treated their customers. I can remember when Liaisons' avatars floated into the Welcome Area, and I was like "HOLY MOLY!" Even better was when they stopped to chat… which left a lasting impression. I keep this approachability close to my heart everytime I'm out and about inworld.

Now, I've done many of the archetypical and esoteric things advertised as "living the SL dream", including finding love with my wife which reached beyond to first life! (We live together in a physical house.) I've explored the furthest limits of avatar customization, artistically arranged land parcels, and done some building and scripting on the side, etc. And you know what? A summary is inadequate, you really must read my blog archives… then live your own SL adventures to understand.

2 skinny cats and ONE FAT CAT by you.

The point: all these acts were done under a watermelon-hued banner which isn't just a gimmick, but a simple symbol and conversation piece that means yesI am a real person with interests and pet peeves. I have personality.

One more thought for now: I find it intriguing how more companies are actively courting "rockstars" but after they're hired, they don't make the best use of these rockstars' personality, their social capital. Given how "company culture" has become such a prominent buzzterm, it's important to break through abstractions and emphasize that a company only has culture because it's made out of people.

(And that culture can and will change as a company and its customers change.)

7 Responses to “How to tell if your personality superstar is a narcissistic egomaniac”

  1. Julie Fogg Says:

    I follow you on Twitter and am a resident of Second Life.

    This post is brilliant! I will RT and share with those not on the Twitter bandwagon.

  2. Rohit Says:

    Thanks for this great post, I added a link to it on my original post as I think you raise a really strong point.

  3. Human Resource News » Blog Archive » Employers Need Employees With Strong Personal Brands Says:

    [...] UPDATE: Check out this great follow up post from Torley - "How to tell if your personality superstar is a narcissistic egomaniac." [...]

  4. Sahoni Tigerpaw Says:

    "How to tell if your personality superstar is a narcissistic egomaniac?"
    It's actually quite easy. Feed them energy, and look where it flows.

    great, fantastic! This is a very useful technique. LOL… and I just watched "The Celestine Prophecy" over the weekend ;)

  5. Why You Need To Hire Employees With Strong Personal Brands | Marketing plan Says:

    [...] Posted by Rohit on 11/3/08 in Personal Branding, marketing. Did you ever realize that actors in films are essentially short term employees? The model for big Hollywood films is that actors lend their personal brands to a film as much as their acting ability, and in return the studios leverage those personal brands to get people interested in seeing a film. It is a traditional model, but it works and has for many years. Now think about your business and how you hire new employees or foster superstar employees today. Are you still only focusing on the skills and accomplishments of potential employees? More importantly, how are you treating your current employees who are actively building their personal brands through factors like having a personal blog, being part of online communities and generally having a strong identity online? The problem with many organizations is that they don't value personal brand builders enough. Often in the corporate world, as an employee raises their personal brand they are more likely to be treated with skepticism. Called self-promoters (or worse), these growing superstars are often alienated and driven out of organizations by managers or colleagues that feel threatened by them. Of course, some personal brand builders actually are rabid self-promoters to the detriment of the places they work. But the majority are genuinely strong performers who have the ability to use their personal social capital to be even better at their job if you can find a way to embrace them. In Hollywood films, the production companies realize that what they are buying (in part) are the personal profiles of the actors in the film. They NEED their "employees" to have a strong personal brands. Sometimes it backfires with high profile meltdowns or personal issues on set. But most of the time it works and everyone makes money. Your business is no different. In the future, the brands that succeed will be the ones who employ the people who have the most social capital. Your next hire should be someone who not only has the right skills, but also a rapidly growing personal brand. The success your business can have in the social media era may depend on it. UPDATE: Check out this great follow up post from Torley - "How to tell if your personality superstar is a narcissistic egomaniac." [...]

  6. Torley Says:

    @Julie: Thank-you, glad you think so!

    @Rohit: It's an honor!

    @Sahoni: One of my favorite music teachers, who was like Yoda as a boxer, was into Redfield's work, I think.

  7. Yes, Brands do belong on Twitter Says:

    [...] should hire employees with personal brands.  This doesn’t mean that they should hire narcissistic egomaniacs with personal agendas; but rather focus on hiring people who understand the value of relationships [...]

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