Unhygienix Gullwing, a fellow?Resident in the wonderful world of Second Life,?graciously left a comment after my last entry. It said:

Torley, if you haven't done so already, some of your SL acquaintences or readers would appreciate a more in-depth description of how exactly your hyperacusis affects you. You've shown yourself to be pretty unflinching with regards to questions and self-analysis, but if this brings up too much discomfort, of course we understand. I'd be interested in hearing more of the specifics of how hyperacusis interrupts your everyday life; What sorts of sounds cause you distress? Does it cause headaches? What adaptations have you made, either in temperament or environment, to deal with this condidion?

Well-asked, and alright! I'm inspired now to write about something that is decidedly uninspiring. Basically,?I have hypersensitive hearing. I wasn't born with it, and developed it following a noise trauma incident in May?of '04. What happened was that I was charging a car battery and trying to operate a lawnmower, when there was a loud BANG!?I didn't notice anything much afterwards, apart from being dazed. Shutting down the equipment, I went to sleep. In the weeks to come, my condition worsened. It seems to have "levelled off" but some days are worse than others. So I believe this is what caused my problems.

My ears hurt and I am distressed when I am exposed to sudden high-pitched sounds, such as metal forks clanging on glasses, sharp percussion in music by itself like cymbals, and even human voices in the higher registers. After too much listening, even at moderate levels, I will often have to rest my ears and have silence. Some days, I have awful headaches for no particular reason that I've been able to discern, but lately it hasn't been so bad on that front. If there's broadband noise like gentle seashore waves helping to mask any startling sounds, it helps. I do this frequently. Running water isn't too bad, although when it stops, my ears kind of "pop" and it's unpleasant.

I have a distorted hearing range, and an analogy that I could give you would be how ears listen underwater, and how whooshy the sound gets. In my case, higher frequencies are exaggerated grossly, thus making an imbalance that makes everyday life painful. I hardly go out for this reason, although I live in the solitude of nature, which is nice because I can just sit on the grass and not have to be bothered by the harsh industrial sounds of city life (which did use to charm me, but given my present state, I prefer to stay away from it). While I like tuning in to listen to my DJ friends on Second Life, I can't do it very often for sustained periods of time. Shout-outs and on-air banter are always appreciated in my heart, even if I don't catch them. I apologize for this.

I have done considerable research on the topic of hyperacusis, and even consulted a world-class specialist in the field. There are no known medical treatments that would be quickly effective, and no breakthroughs near on the horizon. There is retraining therapy which is supposed to have helped some, but it takes a lot of time — and in that time, likely a number of years, hearing might return to normal regardless. So there are a lot of indefinites here, and I have to work with what I've got. I plan to be getting custom earplugs to filter out some of the higher-Hertz noise, but this will not stop the rumbling and crackling sounds I get in response to that noise — it's like a jerk reaction, a reflex that "kicks back". When I tug and pull on my ears too, I get these uncomfortable sensations; it's like there's something inside there that I can't quite reach that irritates me.

As I've mentioned before, there's been no appreciable difference in the last few months as far as my hearing goes. I remain hopeful that someday I will be well again. In the meantime, I've really devoted myself to Second Life because it really makes me feel a lot better, given my disability, and I look forward to the future.

It's all I have left.