I experience a lot of things while I am sleeping. I know my own personal distinctions between fantasy and reality, and much as I like to draw parallels between art and life, I do know that both have a very valid place in one's person and that imaginations are often too snuffed out or severely stifled by the time one gets to even a young age of adulthood (that being, the window of 18-19 human years).
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I see streets in my dream like "Whalen & St. Saint Boulevard" which may have no real analogue/analog in my waking life, but they are signs of something. I feel a continuing quest for an Enlightenment, and as much as I'd like to care about Deja Vu, sometimes even that pales in comparison to the sheer, Lovecraftian alienness of encountering a stark yet oddly fertile wilderness of the inner mind — all when sleeping.
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In my dreams, I'm a great advice-giver. Better than Dear Abby and Ann Landers (all of them, subsequent generations up to 2501 A.D. or so) put together. When I'm awake, this is not so. My advice is to be heeded cautiously like a fellow not even dipping his toe into a tub of lava (and what is the tub made of?), because it has been known to harm more than help. At times, anyway. This is why I would put out more disclaimers, not for the safety of myself but my care?& concern for the wellbeing of others. And still, I dream some more… without trying to come off too cautiously, I dream of: great wax skyscrapers in the shapes of flowers and hybrid eating utensils (the "spork" being only the tip of the tongue);?cyberpunk wuxia battles taking place across the stormy, oddly sunny skies which laugh and cry at the same time; practicing human interaction and socializing as to get better and better at what I do not understand and what I may not "get" but which I am deeply captivated by; and Enlightenment.
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Is there a lot people don't really believe in because they know it's not true but know of nothing better? I can only speak for myself, and in my example, it once was true but the fakeness of those masks have collapsed and the masks I employ now have more of a sinister yet forthright sensibility, not unlike an Eyes Wide Shut-style ballroom dance. A stoic lust. I've grown to challenge unconventional ideas in my own quest — whatever that is — and although I know why the sky is blue, technically, I can't help but wonder about it on some philosophical level. Like that old piece of poultry.
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I'm a friendly?eccentric.?I've come to accept this. Not because I have anything against "normality", oh no — I am most fascinated by white picket fences and the mundane things that most people take for granted like tying shoelaces and making small talk (not SmallTalk the programming language).?I've come to find things about myself which I always knew but could never explain with the relevation of Asperger's Syndrome, and life continues on. As do the dreams.
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I am thankful for the blessings in my life. Blessings like My Very Own Blog (TM), so I may express myself in some almost-coherent manner. (I don't forget: I'm still frustrated and angry because of my hearing problem — hyperacusis — it keeps me from my music; my passion of sharing with you… we shall see, hear what happens in a few months's time. *sighs*) Some days have?more clarity than others, but if diamonds had no coal, who would know the difference? Sometimes the pearls need the swine, ya know, and I stand to learn a lot from the experiences of others and hopefully apply a distilled form of some of that to my own life. (I could copy-and-paste some witty acid quote here, but I'll save that for another day.)
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I'm me, Torley. And as long as I sleep, I will continue to dream. ^_^