Sometimes only?when?the damage is done, can you really get a close enough look at it, when the acceleration curve has ramped so exponentially upwards that you zoom faster and faster beyond any analytical recognition of where you are in the timestream — and then hits you: the inevitable impact comes. Everything stops, and if you were?blessed enough to survive, you might just get out and look at all that was left behind.
I'm talking about this on a number of levels: one of them, of course, is a metaphorical plane. It's easy to crouch down and look behind your shoulder when the action's stopped, but when you're travelling at a breakneck pace through your life, will you be able to make any sense of any of this until it's over (over, at least for now)?
Bad things happen in this world. That's just the way it is. Everyone has problems, and?each of us deals with them differently. As powerful as words can be, they point towards the aftershock of things that we not only say but do as well. Catalytic combustion of existential sequencing, and other big words. 
Before I slept, things were surreal. I was up in the sky above Midnight City, playing Senso. Oh, the grid had to shut down for Linden maintenance, oh yes it did, and it still isn't up yet — I'm counting on 3 PM as a point of reentry — but as I bounced on the pads of this game-within-a-game, I had a quick flashback to the skybox as it used to be in October (when I was still greener than green to Second Life). Things change, and things stay the same. This time, when I zoomed up to the skybox, Kenzi was there like the very first time I had visited. Memories flashed through my head of memories tied to this place. As virtual and mutable as it is, I do not deny my emotions attached to it. We discussed some of the aspects of playing Senso before she had to go, and I got a good hop-to. A wideband broadcast message from Mark Linden informed everyone that SL would be going down at 6 AM, but I kept Sensoing anyway. Caught in my microaddiction as the rush came, bouncing from pad to pad, it wasn't until 6:10?that the gridverse was forcibly turned off and I headed to bed.
Now I'm awake again and feeling mellow, I feel a sort of inexpressible joy. I'm not smiling, but I'm happy.
I don't know what it means yet?– but I do know that's it's meaningful.
~~~
Related to the above and travelling tangentially… for the victims of the tsunami disaster,?there will be a a 24-hour series of events called "The Mahoosive SL 24 Hour Fundraiser Thingie!!!" Looks like Jinny, Fau, and Toast are?going to be pulling quite a marathon for a good cause. 
I may be mostly offline that day(s), but I do want to come and show my spirit because I consider it wonderful when humans come together, even across great physical distances. It goes to show — as I've previously said — how we become more alive through technology.?This fundraiser?had to be put together in a jam for the New Year… 2005 approaches fast, and although the date by itself doesn't have any great personal consequence, things like making resolutions are fun, even if you can't keep 'em.
In my spare time, I like to stalk people. Here I am, camped out behind Chage McCoy's house in Lusk, looking through his very realanalog window. I think it was more creepy and unsettling for me than for him.
Related to antisocial behavior, I recently made a post on the SL forums about what sorts of personalities I don't like to see. The full thread, for your perusal, is here. While I am openminded and gentle, I also come down hard on those who are not here to get along with others.?Second Life is largely about community, and I believe it?an unwise idea?to come here and be a total loner — or worse, alienate others by coming off all unfriendly and xenophobic. After all, even scripters I know?who don't get out much, have friends. If you don't connect, you can't make connections!
Speaking of scripters, adept coder Christopher Omega took a break from working on library terminals the other day, and we went shopping. He gave me a few suggestions as to the Japanese motif he was looking for, and?I recommended that we head to Tanaquil's Aozora and Hiro and Estrelle's?shop next door in Varney sim. Lookin' good, Chris — now you can script-and-slice at the same time!
Here's me and Sniv Hasp. I met him in a sandbox. It's nice to see I'm not the only fan of my favorite "neon watermelon" colorscheme! The family of rodents I'm comfortably wearing was made by Ratt Foo — thanks Ratt!
Alright. Gridverse looks open for exploration again. *looks at Preparing Inventory screen*
Going back in… ! 