"Is this a real life, is this just fantasy?"
Posted on: March 26, 2007Laura Deeley aka Frosty Beam and her pet panda stopped in a little while ago, to mah house o' melons… so she could interview me and some esteemed fellow inhabitants of Second Life, for what ended up being this article in Times Online. It doesn't have the pictures that I understand have appeared in the print edition, and I should emphasize I like visual expression in addition than text ('cuz I'm more of an AND person than an OR person), but good, all the same.
I earnestly enjoy SL articles touching on health benefits. I think amidst the glut of "nothing new to learn here, move along" press hype which recycles a lot of tired quotes, there's much freshness to be found when considering the therapeutic positivity to be found in Second Life. Without being vitriolically opposed to terming it a "game", I'm always looking for how SL influences other movements in the "gaming industry", in part because I'm curious about how many more will summon the courage to push past prior definitions of our "work and play" interactions with technology, into a greater awareness of well-being.
That really puts lame jabs like "Second Life? Get a first life!" into glaring perspective, because having a Second Life, by definition, presupposes that you're already living a first one, and want more life. For those of us whose offline existences are suffering, what's initially viewed as a stress-reliever and escape from "reality" (as it was for me) can soon give way, and transition into a useful and healing supplement of your total existence, the whole of who you are.
Then again, I only speak from personal experience. 
I left a comment and hope it'll show up soon.
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March 27th, 2007 at 6:20 AM PDT
You know it really is a second life and not a game at all. I had some bad experiences in SL over the weekend. At the moment, SL is actually way more stressful than my rl and not an escape by any stretch of the imagination. I am taking a couple of days off than logging in again to reevaluate my SL activities. You can make your avatar look like anything. You and I have the common preference of preferring to look completely different than the way we do in rl, to make the experience different. However I find that who you are inside always comes out eventually. The people that provide good positive contributions in the real world, do so in SL also. The people who hurt others and tear others down in the real word, do the same in SL. Those who are lazy and contribute nothing, also do the same in SL.
I'm not sure why, but SL brings out everyone's good points and bad points and makes them much more noticable. For example, I haven't spent all that much time around you, but can already tell what an incredibly creative, intelligent person you are and what a flair for life you have. Personality traits just seem easier to notice in SL. I've made meaningful friendships with people who I've never talked to or even seen other than as their avatars. People who are willing to listen when something is bothering me. I also have been treated in the most mean and hateful way I've ever been treated in SL at times. Despite the fact that you can be anything you want, SL ends up bringing out what is really inside and making it very apparant.
It really is a microcosm of the real world and that keeps it from being a total escape but more of a supplement to rl.
March 28th, 2007 at 5:53 AM PDT
No matter what your preconceptions, it's very difficult not to emotionally invest in a world that encourages you to build your dreams … and your nightmares.
Is it so difficult for some people to accept that Second Life allows us to explore our true selves without physical and environmental constraints? Only those who dismiss the power of dreams and of hope can so easily dismiss the potential of such a place.
Within a few months of entering this amazing world I found myself walking through real life with more confidence; I drew strength from my personal growth, regardless of which world nurtured it. Of course, that also means an acceptance that a painful event in our Second Life will affect our first one, but that too is also part of growth. I embrace the pain and the joy in both lives, as one, as part of my life journey.
As science is beginning to "discover", and as many of us have instinctively known all our lives, "reality" is just perception. Location is truly irrelevant, only the experience matters.
March 28th, 2007 at 6:19 AM PDT
Who is to say what World is real and what is not? For in the end, it all comes down to living each Moment to the fullest. And in doing so, that Moment will stretch infinately, beyond Time and Space.
Friendship is Earth's rightful Ruler, and it does not run a Wired Fence. I for one am happy to have met thee, Master Torley, on this website.
March 28th, 2007 at 9:52 PM PDT
Reality is what we make of "it", whatever "it" may be, such that philosophers can debate the very nature of existence and yet folks generally don't consider that to be a waste of time, mental energy, whathaveyou.
Often I suspect the folks that spew vitriol toward SL'ers are either intimidated by the imagination and freedom an environment such as SL provides or are crying "sour grapes" out of a deep-seated fear that they too might be sucked in and engulfed in the wonderfully engrossing experience that is SL.
Otherwise I'd have to presume their creatively deficient, mentally stale and bilious cads whose only joy in life is spreading their unpleasantness around, and frankly I'd like to think better of folks until I know them well enough to be sure exactly what their disease is! ;-P
I find that in my journeys through SL that many of the folks I meet have "issues" of one sort or another, physically, mentally, emotionally. I think the real question is whether this is a skewed, self-selecting population or is it that in a VR environment such as this, we all are a little or a lot freer to let down our mental/emotional/physical "hair" and share our truer selves? Either answer in a way is a good one. And both options provide those of us in SL to, I believe, improve our 1st lives as well as our 2nd ones with some positive reinforcement.
Call me Pollyanna but I know that with the stuff that's gone on in my 1st life the past 3 years, that without the folks I've met in SL (and There.com to be fair) there to back me up and support me, my life overall would be a darn sight worse for wear.
April 1st, 2007 at 10:32 AM PDT
I'm happy to see such deep feelings about how each of us feels on this. Such a topic often comes with welled-up emotion relating to self-identity, and the wonder + joy we experience here.
@Grizzy: I too, find it easier to notice some traits. In the vein of Malcolm Gladwell's Blink (which I haven't read yet but I did enjoy The Tipping Point very much), I find I can assess situations a lot quicker, and I like the term "supplement". I advocate being more of an AND person than an OR person, hence why it's a "Second Life" and not a "life replacement".
@Wolf: Encouraging thoughts! What I've also found interesting is when people come into SL with hopes + dream but also find it difficult to acclimate to the tumultuous change inworld. Embracing both is far better than neglecting one in favor of the other. I'm joyed that I can work networked, and how human concepts of "presence" are not just being challenged, but radically remixed.
@Hexx: Those are questions which I think humans will be curious about for a great long time. "Friendship is Earth's rightful Ruler" — a beautiful name for a song, perhaps one by the Polyphonic Spree. (They're so life-affirming!) And thank you.
@Madame: Nice to see you here! My suspicions are similar to yours, and what's that saying now… everything we do is out of love or fear, and the spewed vitriol comes out of fearful insecurities. That someone can accept more, so they… become less. Very glaring to note that often, when people bash SL, they're frequently ignorant or simply not yet aware of how positive SL experiences have bettered lives, including support groups, charities, people living vicariously through their avatar because they're confined to a wheelchair, etc. I'm glad to hear, looking back, how things have gone for you. Me too.
Thanks to each of you for sharing. My Sunday is uplifted!