My Oh My

2005-10-18


Unbridle yourself.

There came a time I was dreaming and realized that the universe portrayed was not my own: after cracking open an encylopedia detailing the ranges of various musical instruments, I came to find something very odd. Pianos still had 88 keys, but gamelans were described as having "slelog" and "pendro" scales, something I was previously unfamiliar with.

Things really began to unfurl at half-mast when I right-clicked on the contextual menu of my computer and realized that at the bottom of many choices, there was one titled My Oh My, with an arrow next to it signifying another submenu. I didn't peek.

I think it's possible for me to replicate the process. Consider the spacious luxury of air, with a vast body of water below, and a thick plank of cork?or some woodly thing?between the two. It's actually a false wood analogue. This is within a somewhat closed system. The water, which can weigh you down, represents "reality". The air, if you could fly, is the "dreamspace". And sometimes, if you can, not only do you burst through, but you get embedded with the bark in you. Maybe it hurts some, but I can think of no greater surreal pleasure than being able to be trapped in an imaginatory purgatory: it's like looking at men dressed as Gregorian monks and hearing them chant in Tuvan instead. It's just not what you… expect.

[(If someone started wanting to shake your feet, instead of hands, would you notice? How about variants on everyday expressions like "Take happy" instead of "Take care" and Catch-44s?) You may suddenly start becoming attuned to things that are blippy anomalies on their own, but I'll tell you, it's quite an epidemic.]

At first I get taken back, these things, and then I realize how natural and unperverse it is. It's like one of those Korean hotels where the whole bathroom IS the bathtub, and there's a drain?if you look for it. No separate shower partition, you just grab the head and do all your cleaning in one large room. There is no privacy certain, no ridged rim. There are, however, blue-lilac marble tiles and proof coverings for electrical panels and the lights above.

You hear something playing on TV? What's that?

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