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Leading off from the quasiillegible title of today's entry, I will now speak loudly and proudly about my passion for watermelons. Ah, what other purpose does a watermelon for me serve than to be regarded as an utmost wonder, a beauty to be adored, and an emperor among fruits to be loved? Yummilicious they are, great helmets they make when bisected and the meat is eaten, and they are also the basis of my hyperbolic "Neon Watermelon" color scheme.

Here's the story of a girl who loves watermelons… like her father, Torley Jr. grew up eating watermelons. I suspect it was a combination of nature and nurture. She rebelled in her teenage years and dressed in monochromes while feasting on peaches?(and may do so again as the phases cycle through), but soon returned to her house — which possessed a structural integrity not unlike that of a gargantuan watermelon, fit to be feasted on. (With some cybernetic enhancements, of course.)

After Torley Jr. travelled through the spacetime rift to search for her father,?she began to long for?watermelons in SL. Oh, yes, she heard about the watermelon launcher, but it shot yucky, stale specimens that decayed really quickly. She searched the grid for the watermelons and scoured the realm far and wide, including flying high into the heavens where she was assisted by a flight script, but had a damn tough time finding them, let me tell ya (as I am she and she is me and we are all together as WATERMELON WOMEN, GOO GOO K'CHOO CHOO THE WATERMELON BULLETTRAIN ARIVES!).

One day, the realization dawned upon me (Torley Jr. of course ) that I would not go the watermelon, so the watermelon must come to me. And it came. And it came. And it came again. This was a pleasant loop.

At the SLExchange premiere?party, I found that Evie?Fairchild?made watermelon slices and laid them out to eat. It was a glorious moment. Yes, the seeds were oddly placed and the texture made me slightly queasy when viewed from a diagnonal angle, but ahhh… watermelon is watermelon as long as it's fresh and juicy and ripe as this particular slice. At a moment's notice (like, 5 seconds, give or take 5), I took the watermelon slice from the appetizers plate and proceeded to modstretch it into ONE BIG FREAKIN' HUGE HONKIN' SLICE O' LIFE and then trotted it out onto the dancefloor, where Evie and I proceeded to sit on it. I enjoyed her company before she returned it to my inventory so I could use it again.

Next, I thought of a movie called The Matrix. You may be familiar with it. It is a movie that primarily concerns itself with knives in tummies, forks in the road of life, and spoon (which are not too big). Yes, it's a kitchen utensil classic. I decided to chart myself off to some magical island and rez my fair share of watermelony goodness, and do a signature leap in my own version of aforementioned film… *dum dum dum*… THE WATERMELONTRIX!!! Coming again and again to a virtual theatre near you, yo!

In the due course of time, it was off to a happy place called Mocha, where some of my dearest friends in SL dwell while they accumulate dwell. Isn't that fitting? Ahhh… Fran was showing us her new gadget and I thought, what better way to celebrate than to REZ WATERMELONS?!? And so I did. If you look closely you can spot Strife, Fran, me, Jadey, and Kexy. A few seconds later, Mocha would become noisy as Fran took out her Seburo and blasted many slices — some of them four sims away! I had a lot of them return to my inventory too.?It was inconvenient at first… but now that I think about it… ahhh what a glorious day!

Next up came the acid test, so to speak. I wanted to rez no less than 5,001 slices o' Second Life in their full watermelony glory, and I wondered where could I do it. Morris Building Area? Too public. Midnight City? Uh… I am not a griefer (in this universe). Sooo, I headed off to the Island Sandbox, camped until late and waited for the preexisting builds to be cleared at 3 AM, watching the peeps depart and making sure I was not making trouble for anyone else.

BLAM!!! SLICE AFTER SLICE AFTER SLICE… the Island Sandbox, 1/3 of it, was soon home to thousands of watermelon slices — big-ass ones at that, I might add! As I continued to dupe?mah watermelonbabies,?with Physical checked on, mind ya, the sim soon slowwwed to a crawl and I went into true?matrixy slomo. Graphical glitches?started to?occur and many slices would show up as if they?were eaten, with only the base green?visible.?But patient I was, and I waited for more and more to rez. I could not see them all and my?CPU slowed slower than the lag that Fran's FO causes, ;)?and then it came… a?realization… an incarnation… a manifestation…

OF THE WATERMELON DREAMS I'D BEEN HAVING FOR THE LAST MANY YEARS OF MY LIFE!!!

THE DAY HAD COME.?I CELEBRATED, IN SECOND LIFE!!!

A VERITABLE WATERMELON ORGY!!!

WATERMELONS!!!!!!

The Island Sandbox soon was?filled to the prim with my?melony mayhem, and after my enjoyment, I?basked in the warm glow of the texture-mapped sun and sat my?booty?on the pinkred. Then, I noticed some fellow avatars start to TP in,?so I politely explained the situation, took my legion with me, and departed for bedtime IRL.

This would not be the last time… I most recently arrived for Lydiah Lorentz's birthday (thanks for the TP, Killian Klein — whoa, the alliteration!), and we celebrated it in grand style at The Outback Club. Her cake matched my Constanza dress. Now, I didn't bring the first watermelon in — in fact, Sky Zircon had created a couple for a match in the sky, alliteratively titled "Sky's Wakky Wednesday Watermelon Event". Booyeah, my seed-spitting homiez! I would soon ascend onwards and upwards to come full circle of sorts and fire stale watermelons at doug Donovan on the other side of the aerial field, but first, it was time for Ferran Brodsky to work her Sim-Fu magic on me. I battled valiantly on a familiar sight, a giant slice, but alas, it was no use as she crunched my neck more chompier than biting into a fresh tangerine watermelon, and I rested myself on the partition as she performed an acrobatic handstand. No finer place to die than on a watermelon.

ALL YOUR WATERMELON ARE BELONG TO ME!!!

AND NOW, I'VE SNAPPED!!!!!!!!!!!!

hehehe if u see me in world drooling n laffing about watermelonz dont be surpri sed kthxbye