Time

Posted on: June 28, 2004
"You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending"
-the sage lyrics of Avril Lavigne
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I know there are times when someone can be too sad. I am sad right now. Not the saddest.?But can anyone really be too happy? (I was reading this incredibly sad news story about a teen's suicide.) What brings out the monster in a good person? Over the years, I have come to accept all human languages as horribly flawed but awfully useful. Words are like rough building blocks — perhaps like LEGO (TM) — but they cannot form some shapes like smooth circles unless you take one of those "rare parts" I so vividly recall finding in some of the more expensive sets like the outer space ones. Somewhat like computer pixels, there is a minimum level of precision and then there comes the jagginess of quantization. So, you'll always make generalizations. Unless you choose to use really big words and loooong sentences, in which case there's always something you can elaborate on. There's always an open opportunity for loopholes to be found, and thus, the argument is never airtight. *sighs*
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Such is the case with debates. I appreciate being polite but firm, with open,?healthy?communication. I have seen more than my unhealthy amount of them, and I see the same negativity *REDUNDANTLY* repeated time and time again. Why do humans hate so much? I just don't get it. And then it turns into personal attacks, and from there, a lot of people are hurt. Sometimes, even physically. It happens time and time again. Time may not be a loop and we may not all be stuck in something akin to the "fruit loop" of Stargate SG-1's "Window of Opportunity" (my favorite episode, BTW), but all of us have repeated behavior we wish we hadn't. I know I have. Redundancy comes in handy when you're making backups of precious work, but for the most part, I loathe and shun the squeaky R because I've really heard it all before and it serves no positive purpose towards helping humans live happier, healthier lives (alliteration there?). I can't lay claim to having heard "everything under the sun" as far as technopolitics is involved (somewhat contradicting what I said in the preceeding sentence, but I am full of contradictions), but more times than I can count I know it's not just deja vu.
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It would be boring to be an emotionless robot I think, so conflict is a necessary part of drama. But I'd like to save the bulk of that for art on screen or on paper or other media — even dissonance in organized sound — and believe that we can learn something from art and that we can live actual better lives. Too pragmatic? Yes, that's me. I'm unabashedly bold in my wanting people to be happier. My brain is just sorted this particular way, and simple delights like inflatable furniture and chewing on mushrooms thrills me to no end. In a little while, I am planning to have raspberries with Cool Whip as a snack.
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It's funny how we ended up here. Life is full of surprises. Sometimes I wonder if I had gone back in time and interacted with X person or Y animal differently, how different would things be now. Or would they be the same? Of course they'd be the same if I had no knowledge of the prior event. But just like two of my favorite topics, time travel & alternative universes, it makes me nutty and I have to really laugh at the delightfully twisted ""logic"' (double quotation marks there) of it all. I'm beginning to read Stephen King's memoir on writing ATM. Very nice stuff, I like his insight into his youth. He seems to remember a lot. I remember bits and pieces, most of them are what I'd consider to be normal for me but in retrospect I can truely (is how I spell it) say I am grateful for the life I have lived thus far, and X-tremely (annoying spelling I know) thankful for my famfriends in life. I don't make a differentiation between family & friends after a point because who you know, you know. And who you like, you like. Even moreso for LOVE (three-humped heart, biotch!). Hopefully this is mutual, and hopefully it extends for many years. Times change, people die, but you remember what's good about life despite all the stuff you have to put up with. I don't remember very much, but this I do.
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Think I'll call it a night. After the Cool Whip?and raspberries. ;)

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