TORLEY LINDEN'S FURRY LOVECHILD!… WTF
Posted on: February 12, 2008By way of Strawberry Holiday to MY WIFE (of all people), I've learned that I'm apparently the father (or not, keep reading) of a FURRY LOVECHILD.
One sign of having made it is appearing in the tabloids, this time 'round The Almighty Organ, but what I don't get about this article is that SAID FURRY LOVECHILD LOOKS NOTHING LIKE ME. Watermelon attachments don't count, your FLESH MUST BE WATERMELON-COLORED. And if you're going to look like a kangaroo, YOU NEED A POUCH. THAT *I* CAN RIDE IN.
OK, that may've come out the wrong way, and I also note the part that "no photos of the child have ever surfaced…" so this must be a Photoshop job or one of those horrible Weekly World News-style composites where they slap an animal's head on a human's body, or the other way around.
"Totorley was not available for comment. Talk to my agent and all that good stuff!"
What I like most about the article: calling me "Linden Lab's ubiquitous video tutorial star". Thank you, that's a job title I always wanted! And, in case the aforementioned isn't clear, (1) it's in good fun and (2) I'm faithful to my wife, R. Zugzwang… and her alts.
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February 12th, 2008 at 6:25 PM PST
what a wonderful story! makes me
at least you were not accused of being the father of Bat Boy (a la National Enquirer). You have indeed secured your place in history now! (and in my heart and so many others too) weeeeee ^_^
February 12th, 2008 at 7:58 PM PST
HAHAHA !!!
That's utterly hilarious and really made me chuckle !!!
/me wonders if there is some form of UUIDNA test…
February 14th, 2008 at 8:54 AM PST
This is a bloody sham and a joke!
The furry is decidedly unwatermelony. no pink fur, no green fur.
/Plays "Billie Jean"
/regexps every incidence of "Michael Jackson" with "Torley Linden"
// Also: synths with tinkly piano.
February 14th, 2008 at 2:10 PM PST
My favorite part is that Torley is faithful to his wife, which is wonderful to hear. My partner and i are big Torley fans. We love the videos. I think that any furry baby of Torley's would definitely be pink and green and he would know about it. LOL.
February 15th, 2008 at 7:14 AM PST
"Weekly World News-style composites where they slap an animal's head on a human's body" - WHAT!?!? Are you telling me those aren't REAL?? I have it on good authority that they are 100% genuine. Even batboy. Poor little batboy…
This one, though, is an obvious fake. Rabbit-dog-kangaroos (Radoroos) don't carry umbrellas. Everyone knows that.
You should have a contest to find the real father.
February 15th, 2008 at 7:30 AM PST
I've been in SL three years now, and I see people around me getting burnt out and going and playing a video game somewhere else, or going to do something different in real life. But you've been in SL WAY longer than me (or most of them!) and you've been WORKING at it, and you still seem to maintain such a great spirit and attitude! I admire that.
February 15th, 2008 at 11:35 AM PST
Haha, that's so funny. Knowing your love for your wife nobody would believe the article, but it's so cool people in SL keep being creative and have sense of humour. /me wonders who the father really is
February 15th, 2008 at 5:17 PM PST
Torley, your blog comments aren't working for me
I tried to post a comment from work (several times) and it would not go through. But other blog comment sections were not working there either, so I thought it was the PC.
I tried to post from home just now, and it said "error, it looks like you've already said that".
So if you get 4 or 5 very similar posts on here from me, I apologize!
February 17th, 2008 at 9:54 AM PST
@Taryn: It is I who apologizes, for your most welcomed comments MISTAKENLY ended up in my spam filter! ARGH! I've flagged them as NOT SPAM and hope you don't run into this problem again. I'll be watching, tho.
Thinking about Batboy and his ilk makes me laugh so much. I forget the name of the horse with a human head who was professed to be "as smart as a chimp", but he doth crack me up. "Radoroo"? Nice word.
I'd do a contest if Linden Lab Legal Dept. didn't have a problem with it! Paternity suits, oh my, they can get sooo messy.
@Ayumi: Aye, I can't be dead serious about stuff like this, gotta laugh it up.
@Strawberry: Thanks so much… sometimes I go in peaks and valleys and have phases where I'm rather introspective and not so exhuberant, but part of what's helped me keep on going is that variety.
@Annya: Awwwwe! Thanks for watching my vids with your partner! Hee hee.
@Patch: The furry is a fraud!
@Dizzy: Hmmm I think you're the first to use "UUIDNA" in that context. Congrats, I hope that catches on!
@Ener: True, true… and thank-you. =^_^=
February 17th, 2008 at 12:36 PM PST
Can you delete some of my excessive multiple posts from your end? I have no option to
February 17th, 2008 at 1:15 PM PST
@Taryn: Yes, done!
February 17th, 2008 at 9:46 PM PST
but wait, we all focused on Torley . . . who's that baby's daddy? is that furry all alone in the world? I feel suddenly nurturing . . .
maybe we should start a fund? maybe the furry is all scared and cold out there all alone? *maybe Ener is a sap*
February 21st, 2008 at 3:28 AM PST
Well, if it is indeed a watermelon coloured lovechild, I'd be happy to adopt it if that's needed. Of course, a monthly fee in L$ for the costs of housing it etc. would be required!
(PS. It's not to late to give us watermelon coloured chocolate beans? ;))